| i can't sleep
i can't sleep because you are on my mind
you still haunt my thoughts
our bitter sweet memories still surround my every day
i thought i was strong enough
i have to be strong
you make me weak and you don't even see that
you look my way and then look away
you can be such a coward
but i too am a coward especially compared to how much i want to walk up to you and hug you
i miss you
you were the closest thing to a soul mate i've ever had
despite the way you ended things
you've left me no choice but to leave you in my memories
you've chased me away
yet i still stay
i alone make my choices to be where i am and to do what i do
i'm here in my bubble because i choose to be
my bubble that protects me but also poisons me
you've left me afraid
alone
crippled by abandoned feelings
why did you do this to me
why won't you fix me
i fixed you and you still turned your back
i'm the broken one now
you have suffered but i too have been suffering
you are not the only one in this world who pays with pain
be stronger
you must be stronger
find courage and hold onto it with your life
i need to be strong
i need to be brave
i need to grow the hell up
and so do you
i need to run
i need to run and run and run these thoughts out of my head
i need to be free entirely of this pain
it is but a thorn in my heart that's been pushed in
and i've pulled it out
but the scar that's left still gets salted every time you open the door and slam it in my face
stop doing that
please
for your sake and my own
i'm broken
i am not whole anymore
you once completed me
when you left you took a part of me with you
you can have it
i gave it to you so please keep it safe
because how you treat that part of me, i can still feel it
just as if it was still in my soul
you will always have a part of me as i have a part of you
you will always be in my heart
nothing and no one can push you out
i want that only to be a comfort for you
you have been loved
you are still loved
you will always be loved
no matter how impossible it seems
don't give up
don't ever give up
keep your chin up and be grateful for your life
be grateful for me
as i am so eternally grateful for you
God loves you
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| i am who i am
not who you want to think i am
if i have goals
i'll never let go until i see victory or fail
this life does belong to me
God gave it to me and i'm trying to give it back
stop pushing me
if i say i'm not ready then i'm not ready
when i am ready
i will be ready for anything
i'm taking my time because i need it
the truth is, i still love you
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